What:
DIY Jam
Where:
Wherever there's free fruit
How much:
Free, basically!
When I came onto a bucket-load of figs from a friend's garden recently, I promptly ate half of them, let quite a few go rotten, then decided to save the rest by making fig jam. It was really quite enjoyable.
I cut the fruit up into acceptable chunks and threw them in a pot with the same volume of sugar as fruit. Then I put in just enough water to cover the fruit and dissolve the sugar. Inspiration struck when I remembered mysteriously purchasing some sticks of cinnamon some months before. BOOM! One of those bastards went in. I picked up a lemon quarter and some frozen raspberries from god knows where and threw them in, too. At this point, the pot was bubbling and I was loving the wafty smells.
I called my mum for hints and she told me to take a little spoonful and drip it onto a plate. If it gets a little film over it and doesn't run, you got jam baby! Turn off the heat and pour the goo into jars. Let it cool then spread it on some toast and accompany it with a well brewed cup of tea, providing your housemates haven't eaten all the freakin' bread.
What:
Hello Sailor Vintage Fair
Where:
The Carlton, 193 Bourke St, Melbourne
When:
Sun Mar 14, noon-6pm
How much:
Free entry, $10 raffle tickets available
Description:
Being halfway through the 1872 aquatic sci-fi epic Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne, this Hello Sailor function looked to be right up my alley. I was hoping they'd supply all manner of futuristic naval paraphernalia, such as breathable fabrics made entirely from sea-going mammals, and seaweed cigars rivalling the finest Cubans. Upon closer inspection, one was surprised to discover this Hello Sailor function was in fact a top-shelf vintage market held over three levels of the old flocked Carlton Hotel, along with a raffle with a fair bounty to aid the noble island of Haiti, which seemed to be in distress last time the Nautilus silently navigated its crystal clear waters. - MO
What:
Post Grad Show Show and Nom Abbamon
Where:
Y3K Gallery, 205 Young St, Fitzroy
When:
Opening Sat Mar 13, 6-8pm. Exhibition runs until Apr 3.
How much:
Free!
Description:
Y3K flyers are a bit like magic eye pictures. At first, they make very little sense but look cool; however, if you stare at them for long enough, meanings and information flow out of them like a strange visual vessel. This one is pretty direct as far as they go. Basically, there is a selection of work from a selection of graduating students from a selection of art schools, that looks to be quite darn good, then a show by Christopher LG Hill and Josh Petherick of lord knows what, accompanied by two publications, one of which is an edition of 50, of which 20 are available. Good golly. I think I can see it!? - MO
What:
Are The Roaring Night
Who:
The Besnard Lakes
On:
Jagjaguwar / Inertia
Where:
Polyester and other good music stores
Sometimes I wish I didn't have to tell you about music via a flashing computer screen.
I wish I could just play you something at a party. Or make you a mix CD. Some things are better if you find them out by accident, or from a friend. The Besnard Lakes have too much personality for the impersonality of a computer screen.
Taking segments of rock songs and stretching them, like taffy, into slow, fuzzed-out, gorgeous sonic strands, The Besnard Lakes create something with familiar reference points but an entirely new structure. Each album has explored this same idea but with a different sound.
Debut Volume 1 was all about long pauses, prog progressions, and vast expanses. Are The Dark Horses had Beach Boys harmonies and Interpol grandeur. And Are The Roaring Night adds heavier classic rock riffs and drum kicks (and occasionally corny lyrics: "ewwww / you're like the ocean").
Actually, I wish you could just forget you read this review, go find this album in some weird, obscure place, buy it and become obsessed with it. It deserves that kind of mystique.
What:
The Narrows Fundraiser: Monochrome editions
Where:
The Narrows, Lvl 2, 141 Flinders Lane, Melbourne
When:
Opening Thurs Mar 11, 6-8pm. Exhibition runs three days only!
How much:
Free entry!
Description:
Warren at the Narrows is an enterprising chap. For starters, he runs an amazing gallery that doesn't see the point in arguing about the blurred lines between design and art. Secondly, that same gallery has a bloody good 'bookshelf', housing titles you won't find anywhere else in Melbourne. Thirdly, and perhaps most suitably to this entry, he runs a fundraiser each year that presents a crew of top-shelf artists with a creative challenge they invariably rise to in no small way. This year, dudes like Damiano Bertoli, Greatest Hits, Matt Griffin, Rose Nolan and a bunch of others have created an A3 poster work which has been offset printed using one spot colour - Pantone 354 (green). The prints will be available as a set and individually in strictly limited editions, all purchases helping Warren continue to be awesome in a public fashion. - MO
What:
Midmouse
Where:
Penthouse Mouse, enter via Coates Ln, off Lt Collins St, Melbourne
When:
Fri Mar 12, 6pm
How much:
Invite only! We have 1 x dbl pass to give away. To enter, just email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'pentmouse house'
Description:
Fashion week smashion week, you've saw it back it 93. You're old, jaded, you just want to stay at home and wash your hair. Well give the Head and Shoulders a rest this Friday because there's something to rattle your bones back into fashion action. Midmouse is a runway event featuring up and coming Australian fashion at its best, with Autonomy, Leonard Street, Satu, Ok Ok, Subfusco, Vanguard, and From Britten showcasing their latest wearables in a show styled Mike Adler. Asahi and live music are a given. – REJ
What:
Philos-o-face Art of Fashion closing
Where:
Lenko, Shop 5, Cathedral Arcade, 37 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Thurs Mar 11, 7–9pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
Never has a closing been so appealing. Rather than a harbinger of doom and gloom, this small conclusion is the magical transformation of Philos-o-face's Art of Fashion window display for Lenko into brooches and necklaces for you to buy and keep. The limited edition faces are the product of a collaboration with Melbourne band Hammocks and Honey, featuring a wide range of influential people of art, music, fashion and popular culture. Here's your chance to have Lady Gaga pin your cardie together or Bowie by your breast pocket. – REJ
What:
Mustang Sally, curated by Kate Smith
Where:
TCB art inc., Lvl 1, 12 Waratah Place, Melbourne
When:
Wed Mar 17, 6–8pm
Exhibition runs until April 3, Wed–Sat 12–6pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
Penpals were great right up until around the time the interweb achieved world domination. Then Ulrike in Dresden, you got ditched. We could learn German swear words in chat rooms and save a small tree for our trouble. But Kate Smith still has a penpal and she met him through her blog. Mustang Sally is a collection of small works on paper and little sculptures, posted by Bill to Kate, bringing together artists Bill likes in America, and Bill and Kate in general. There'll also be a drawing swap box by Katherine Parker Bryden, so if you hate your drawings then bring one along and swap it for a better one by Katherine. – REJ
What:
Friedrich Gray and Romance Was Born rooftop screening
Where:
Rooftop Cinema, Curtin House, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Sat Mar 13, 11pm for 11.30pm screening
How much:
Invite only! We have 5 x dbl passes to give away. To enter, just email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'roman wafers and cheese please'
Private screening and party anyone? Well not anyone, actually only a few special people on a roof. It could be you if you'd just send us a tidy little email with nice things in it. Then you'll get to attend this fancy fashion movie premiere, featuring City Limits, a film by Chris Moyes for Romance Was Born, and Dislocation, starring Emma Balfour and directed by Tim Richardson for Friedrich Gray. There'll be free Jamesons to tipple all eve, and music by Roman Wafer until closing time. – REJ
What:
Drop Caps and other Type Works, by Jessica Hische
Where:
Lamington Drive, 89 George St, Fitzroy
When:
Tues Mar 16, 6–9pm
Exhibition runs until April 10, Wed–Fri 11am–6pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
Cancel that trip to the optomotronathist, you're can see just fine. It's a pre-hump day Lamington launch on a Tuesday, not a Thursday. And what on earth could warrant such a groundbreaking shift in the time/space/free wines equation? It'd have to be something pretty special. And... yes... looks like it is. Brooklyn-based illustrator and typographer Jessica Hische is stopping off in Melbourne en route to Sydney's Semi-Permanent to present a series of typographic works on paper. Fancy schmancy. You'll just have to call in sick on Wednesday and pretend it's the weekend. – REJ
