What:
Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work
Where:
ACMI Cinemas, Thurs Sept 9 - Mon Sept 27.
Watch the trailer:
Here
Win:
Thanks to ACMI, we have 3 dbls to give away for the Sun Sept 12, 6pm screening. To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'This is how Marie Antoinette woulda lived. If she had had money'
Even though saying 'I love to laugh' comes from the land of like-no-duh, it's also from the land of obvs-because-its-true, riiiiight? Y'know I've sat at home alone and LOL-ed along to live stand-up DVDs and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
So, as much as I marvel at anyone who can actually make me laugh at their cute and impish antics, I also have a lot more love for what we like to call the dark side of humour, aka the gravel pit of funny.
This sort of funny is kinda like holding up a fat mirror to a car accident and showing the hilarity of the horrible. Joan Rivers does that. In her new doco Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work, she is so balls-out-honest about everything people normally try to hide about themselves (pettiness, insecurity, blatant ambition, vanity) you can't help leaving the film feeling like you're BFFs (or her therapist).
Like the opposite of Jerry Seinfeld's Comedian, finally here's a doco about the funny people that doesn't just ‘make ‘em laugh'.
What:
Geoffrey O'Connor September residency
Where:
The Birmingham Hotel, 333 Smith St, Fitzroy
When:
Wed Sept 8, doors 8pm. Then every Wednesday throughout September.
How much:
$6 on the door
Description:
Crayon Fields frontman Geoffrey O'Connor likens himself to a gentle, considerate lover, in a musical sense. His swoonings are appropriate to this time when those fluffy yellow chicks you've seen in the movies are hatching, and the temperature begins to become more amiable than a punch in the face. This latter aspect of springtime is, however, yet to be established (thank you, last week's apocalypse). How lucky we are to be able to embark upon a month-long affair with this musical casanova after christening a September residency at the Birmy this week. The next performance will also feature Jessica Says and Kins. – REJ
What:
Tomorrow When The War Began
When:
In cinemas from September 2
Watch the trailer:
Here
Win:
Thanks to Paramount we have 5 dbls to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject ‘We were still innocent. Right up to yesterday'
A bunch of unfeasibly attractive teenagers go bush. Laughing, flirting, frolicking beside creeks and campfires... Something bad's definitely about to happen. Luckily, this isn't yet another of those shitty horror flicks Australian filmmakers insist on continuing to make. This all-Aussie action blockbuster is based on John Marsden's beloved young-adult novels set in an Australia invaded by an unspecified foreign power.
Refreshingly, it's thrilling without succumbing to Hollywood-style cartoonish quips, superhuman stunts and casual misogyny. There's a female hero (Caitlin Stasey) and Asian love interest (Chris Pang), but the film fetishises neither. And while many characters begin as stereotypes - rebel, jock, princess, goody-two-shoes, stoner, nerd - the story's heart is how they conquer their fears and discover new capabilities within themselves.
Screenwriter/director Stuart Beattie is faithful to Marsden's book, although some dialogue sounds clunky when lifted from the page. Beattie adds edginess by upping the violence, and updates the technology from handwriting and landlines to mobiles and digital video. However, he can't be as circumspect as Marsden about the invaders' ethnicity; hence, there's an uncomfortable ‘Yellow Peril' subtext. Still, it's a bazillion times subtler than the forthcoming Red Dawn remake featuring the evil Chinese.
What:
Toot Toot Toots album launch with Mother & Son, Digger & the Pussycats, YIS and Jack On Fire
Where:
The Tote, 71 Johnston St, Fitzroy
When:
Sat Sept 4, doors 8pm
How much:
$12 on the door
Description:
If Australia had a reeling deep south with skeletons in its closet, that's where the Toots would hail from. On record, they're a blues and bushrangers combo of spangly horns and banjo-style guitar. On stage the energy gets notched up to psychedelic levels, and you'll be glad maids are allowed in the front bar because the Go-Go Gadget Girls provide some devilish visual accompaniment. Their album 'Curse the Crow' is being launched this Saturday with supports from Mother & Son, Digger & the Pussycats YIS and Jack On Fire. (Get there early to get snapped for a Melbourne historical retrospective.) - AM
What:
Perceptions opening
Where:
Tinning Street Gallery, Lot 5, 29 Tinning St, Brunswick (enter via laneway)
When:
Wed Sept 8, 6-9pm. Exhibition runs until Sept 26.
How much:
Free!
Description:
Perceptions. We all have them. When they look at this most people see two men fighting over a suitcase. I see a wing-tipped Wasp-brand injector knife. Some students from Monash University's School of Art & Design have collected their own perceptions in photo form and are opening a group exhibition on Wednesday at Tinning Street on Wednesday. I can't make it because of an appointment, but you should go check it out. I hear they have a picture of me in my troll suit. - PM
What:
Photograph at the Tote
Where:
71 Johnston St, Fitzroy
When:
Sat Sept 4, 4pm
How much:
Free!
Description:
Fact: Melbourne looks good in black and white, especially back in its 'ye olde' days. As a birthday present to our beloved town, the council's holding a photography competition in which entrants pick an old-school photo of a Melbourne location and recreate the scene in all its modern glory. Very few of us (except maybe Queenie) would've loitered round Fitzroy when The Tote was known as the Ivanhoe Hotel, way back when. But hang around out front of the pub as we know it on Saturday afternoon, because photographer Mishy Lane needs you to model for her photographic entry. Be there from 4pm and stick around because the knee-slappin' Toot Toot Toots are launching their album, and it promises to be a good show. - AM
What:
Modular presents the Klaxons 'Down Under The Void' tour
Where:
The Palace, 20-30 Bourke St, Melbourne
When:
Fri Sept 3, doors 8pm
How much:
Tickets $64 +BF from here
Win:
We have 3 copies of Surfing The Void and 3 dbl passes to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'There's a dolly on that dolly!'
Description:
My God, we're lame. Or at least I am. I'm sitting at a desk with my (admittedly delicious) coffee and waiting for my personality to be validated by someone retweeting a stupid joke I made. While I do this the Klaxons are in an Egyptian desert with their fancy triple reverse zooms (aka the Hitchcock zoom), flaming pianos and epic, sweeping rock. Looks like there might be some ancient, mystic truths out there in that desert. Maybe they are bringing back this arcane knowledge with them to their show in Melbourne. Maybe all our lives are about to change. - KD
What:
?Third Drawer Down Cave Store
Where:
93 George St, Fitzroy??
When:
Tues-Sat 11am-5pm??
How much:
Garlands and pinatas $210, wands $35, hats $30
As you may or may not know, from 1990 to 2001 I was a speleologist. (Me.) In 2001 I got myself into a serious situation - accidentally fell asleep after seven hours in a Hawaiian lava tube - so my parents ordered me home to Melbourne. And I retired. But once a potholing enthusiast, always a potholing enthusiast, so I have been drawn to Melbourne's caves. The Lobster Cave in Beaumaris is good. And I could spend days in Mercat's basement. But just yesterday I saw our best cave yet - Third Drawer Down's Cave Store.
Third Drawer Down's Cave Store is out the back of their retail space. It was previously curtained until the gang invited some truly incredible people to fill the space for six to eight weeks at a time. First up is Confetti System (!), then Partners & Spade (!), then Family LA (!). I know right. And right now you can purchase Confetti System garlands, piñatas, wands and hats. Or you can just sit inside their bright little cave, look up at the pastel and metallic masterpieces, and imagine what it would be like to fall asleep inside a lava tube in Hawaii. (Me.)
What:
Primitive Calculators, Paul Kidney Experience and Simmons/O'Dwyer/Wanders
Where:
Yah Yah's, 99 Smith St, Fitzroy
When:
Fri Sept 3, doors 9.30pm
How much:
$8 on the door, free entry after 1am.
Description:
Melbourne post-punk legends Primitive Calculators are getting ready to record their first album in thirty years, and that's why they're only playing one show this year. One show this Friday at Yah Yah's. They better nail it! What are we saying? They've been nailing it since 1978. They nail it for breakfast. They hammer it right in with a screeching Mosrite Ventures model guitar. Supports from Paul Kidney Experience and a new group made up of Adam Simmons (saxophone) and Brian O'Dwyer (percussion) with '60s free jazz legend Kris Wanders (Global Unity Orchestra). - PM
What:
Thread Den's MSFW show, 'Caught In The Act'
Where:
The Leveson Hotel, 46 Leveson St, North Melbourne
When:
Fri Sept 3, 7pm; Sat Sept 4, 3pm (matinee) and 7pm.
How much:
Show only, $19 including a drink and canapés. Dinner and show, $54 including two course meal (evening shows only). Tickets from Thread Den stores.
Description:
Setting an example for undernourished fashion grumpy bums the world over, Thread Den's annual fashion show includes a two course meal! Or, at least, canapes, depending on the ticket you buy. What is more, they promise juggling acts, magicians, and "a delicious tryst between fashion and freakshow". So apart from the food it will be pretty much the same as the Vivienne Westwood Spring/Summer ready to wear. Can't wait! - Us
