What:
Human Abstract
Where:
Merlyn Theatre, Malthouse, 113 Sturt St, Southbank
When:
Wed Jul 7 to Sun Jul 11
How much:
Tickets from $37 here
Description:
I don't know how many of you guys like ballet. This is understandable because I think lace and tulle are pretty boring after a few hundred years. Which is why some of the best dancers from The Australian Ballet are trying something new. With choreography by Lucas Jervies, Human Abstract will explore manifestations of fear and confrontation. If your fear of a confrontation with tulle has stopped you from going to the ballet before, fear not. Stop being a jaded troll and buy a ticket! - MS
What:
Melbourne Writers Festival call for volunteers!
When:
Applications due Fri Jul 23
Where:
Information sheet here
Description:
Volunteering. To be honest, if you were a good person you would already be volunteering. It is good for the community! Good for a CV! And just plain good! Hey, it could well get you through the gates. If your idea of heaven is one with books, where angels sit on red velvet stools and talk to you about ideas, then you should probably volunteer at the 25th Melbourne Writers Festival. You could do administration for later admittance into administration heaven, front of house for later admittance into front of house heaven, or drive an author/guest around for later admittance into the driving people around heaven. - MS
What:
Ketel One House private opening
Where:
Lvl 2, Guildford Lane Gallery, 20 Guildford Lane, Melbourne
When:
Fri Jul 2, 6-9pm
Win:
We have 10 x dbls to give away to people over 18 years of age. To enter email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'silky mouth feel'
Description:
Now. Do you like vodka? Us too. Or do you "like vodka"? Us too. It's time for all of us to figure out what the fuck we're talking about at the open night for Ketel One House this Friday. Distilled in Holland by the Nolet family and perfected over ten generations, this crafted vodka can be said to have a "silky mouth feel and a subtle finish". This week, they're educating us all about craftsmanship via something we've already heard of: design. Collaborating with Lou Weis, creative director of the State of Design Festival, Ketel One have curated a showcase of bespoke furniture, lighting, illustrations and installations by Geoffrey Nees, Tim McMonagle and Kano Hollamby. Guests will receive two Ketel One cocktails. - Us
What:
C Grade 2nd Birthday Party!
Where:
Mercat Basement, 456 Queen St, Melbourne
When:
Sat Jul 3, 10pm to 8am
How much:
$5 from 10-11pm, $10 from 11-midnight, $15 after midnight
Description:
This just in from Daragh Kan: "It's two years since C Grade started as a weekly, and one year since we made it a monthly. And to celebrate we are having an 'I'm a celebrity cardboard cutout under the sea' party! So many memories, so many laughs, so many celebrity cardboard cutouts under the sea." This is also the last C Grade party in Australia until September because residents Otologic and Lewie Day are heading over to Europe. The last C Grade had a line for three and a half hours, but we weren't in it and I'll tell you why. If Daragh made us wait he'd have more to worry about than just a cardboard Patrick Swayze punching him in the penis. - PM
What:
Houlette farewell party with Geoffrey O'Connor Band, Hot Little Hands (duo), Steph Brett and friends
Where:
Brother Rat Fink's Shop, 217 St Georges Rd, Northcote
When:
Sat Jul 3, doors 8pm
How much:
$5 on the door
Description:
There's one band named after a French word for a small hand tool, one whose bassist was nominated to be this year's CLEO bachelor of the year and, well, there's another band that's eponymous. Boring, yes, but it's Geoffrey O'Connor from Crayon Fields! Über cool. And they're all playing in a shop called Brother Rat Fink's. Even cooler. Be there, or have your chance of macking Houlette or bachelor-bassist Royce Akers (or both) dramatically reduced. - JF and PM
What:
Drew Pettifer, Hold on to your friends
Where:
NO NO Gallery, 14 Raglan St, North Melbourne
When:
Opening TONIGHT! Thurs Jul 1, 6-8pm. Exhibition runs until Jul 24.
Drew Pettifer has given us photographs of naked young men in a few unexpected contexts over recent years. On cakes, for instance. And Sydney Road. But now he's taken it to the extreme. He's photographed naked young men in the most hostile context of all: regional Victoria.
In this new series of photos (and a video installation), Drew reclaims the sometimes oppressive rural spaces of his youth. Or, to be exact, his naked friends do while Drew photographs them with typical panache.
In your face: country conservatism! In your face: The Farmer Wants A Wife. In your face: ladies night at the steakhouse. In your face: it's illegal to run naked in the fields, I'll have you arrested. (Everyone else welcome.)
Image:
Drew Pettifer, Untitled (Dylan on the rocks), 2010
What:
The Critic Smiles opening
Where:
Rear View Gallery, Rear 244 Smith St (second lane on left, off Stanley St), Collingwood
When:
Fri Jul 2, 7-9pm
How much:
Free
Description:
Kez Hughes and David Coles have a new exhibition at Rear View, which evinces a nostalgia for the artist as outsider, at the same time as which their curatorial focus works to fetishise specific works, underscoring what Harold Bloom called "the anxiety of influence". Okay, they make art that refers to the experience of looking at art. Okay, they make fucking cool art that will get you excited about looking at art again. - Us
What:
The Shock of the New
Where:
The Order of Melbourne, Lvl 2, 401 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Sat Jul 3, 9pm-3am
How much:
FREE!
Description:
It's a bit embarrassing that we forgot to write up the first Shock of The New party because, to many of you, it is now neither new nor shocking. Nevertheless, the second one is happening this Saturday. A journey into the "darkest depths of dystopian synth and indie", it is the sort of night Melbourne's synthpop, new beat, neue Deutsche welle, electronic body music, dark wave, Krautrock, Italo, Dutch electro, new wave and synthgaze fans have been searching for through this town's morass of poncho folk for months. Can you dig it? Yes you can. WTF is synthgaze? It's free, that's what. Question time is now over. - PM
What:
Claire Inc residency
Where:
Alice Euphemia, Shop 6, Cathedral Arcade, 37 Swanston St, Melbourne
When:
Opening Thurs July 1, 6-8pm. Residency runs Mon-Sat 11am-5pm until Wed Jul 21.
Contact:
9650 4300
I had a palpy at Alice Euphemia yesterday. Here's why. Claire Inc sells vintage online. But I wish there was another word for it. Vintage is often understood as those unflattering knits you see over leggings. This vintage is hot, tailored and, when collected correctly, feels like a gallery. And lucky for Melbourne, Claire Inc is spending three weeks in the real world. Allowing us to touch and buy what is usually kept behind computer screens.
For their Alice Euphemia residency, Claire Inc has chosen pieces that pay homage to the avant garde designers of the '80s and '90s. Think vintage Moschino, Sonia Rykiel, Escada Couture, Karl Lagerfeld, Christian Dior, YSL, Chanel and more, all sitting quietly upstairs in Cathedral Arcade. Crazy.
I am sorry to get all Johnny Depress on you, but this collection of clothing is so much more than what I expected. It shows that in the '80s and - in particular - the '90s, the world of fashion was quite different from its self-conscious state today. It was about confidence, and bold statements about ourselves and our world. Whether you purchase or just go to look, I hope you get as emotional about pastel peach cotton as I did.
What:
Antarctica exhibition opening
Where:
Michael's Camera Shop gallery, cnr Elizabeth St and Lonsdale St, Melbourne
When:
Opening Fri Jul 2, 5.30-7.30pm. Exhibition runs to Thurs Aug 4
How much:
Free
Description:
Jason and Anna just got back from Antarctica. In between building igloos and meeting Pingu, they took photos. Beautiful photos, which they would like to show us, much like our proud parents do each time they return from spending time at their Time Share in Honolulu. What is super cool about the exhibition is that it's at at Michael's Camera Shop. You know, the one on Elizabeth Street that you thought was all 'let's just sell cameras'? Well deceptively hidden behind clip art signage is a bunch of people who seem to really care about photography. - MS
