What:
Zine review #20, Lady Beard
Who:
Maddy Phelan
Where:
Available from Sticky, Shop 10, Campbell Arcade, Degraves Street Subway, Melbourne. Or via mail order, online here.
How much:
$2
Our bodies are a law unto themselves. We try to control them as much as we can, but they always warp back to their own sense of physical righteousness. Sometimes that righteousness involves body hair. Facial hair even. For the guys that's just dandy. Not so much for the girls. Yes. Here is a zine about ladybeards. The first encounters. The multiple encounters. The laser beams, the shaving, the despairing, the fighting, the denial, the censorship and then...a truce.
This is the most amazing zine ever. For me it's easily the zine of the new century. Compelling, fantastic writing. Great graphics that make you wonder where all the ladybeards are if they're not in Dolly or TV Week.
This is hardly a Neighbours storyline, but how common must it be? This messes with our ideas of gender, femininity, masculinity and is essential reading. Honest. Plus, this is an unfolding story. Follow the ladybeard revolution / evolution on Facebook and check out the article in Scavenger by the author.
What:
Zine review #20, Lady Beard
Who:
Maddy Phelan
Where:
Available from Sticky, Shop 10, Campbell Arcade, Degraves Street Subway, Melbourne. Or via mail order, online here.
How much:
$2
Our bodies are a law unto themselves. We try to control them as much as we can, but they always warp back to their own sense of physical righteousness. Sometimes that righteousness involves body hair. Facial hair even. For the guys that's just dandy. Not so much for the girls. Yes. Here is a zine about ladybeards. The first encounters. The multiple encounters. The laser beams, the shaving, the despairing, the fighting, the denial, the censorship and then...a truce.
This is the most amazing zine ever. For me it's easily the zine of the new century. Compelling, fantastic writing. Great graphics that make you wonder where all the ladybeards are if they're not in Dolly or TV Week.
This is hardly a Neighbours storyline, but how common must it be? This messes with our ideas of gender, femininity, masculinity and is essential reading. Honest. Plus, this is an unfolding story. Follow the ladybeard revolution / evolution on Facebook and check out the article in Scavenger by the author.
What:
The Cleanout
Where:
In Christopher Kelaart's house, or here
When:
Until everyone else beats you to it
How much:
A little bit of imagination
The word ‘free' is like my catnip, my knee-buckling kryptonite, the ‘bacon sandwich' Achilles heel to my staunch ‘vegetarian' calf. Free cardboard box? Free kick to the gut? Yes please! Unfortunately, while upon terra firma, it rarely occurs. Not for real, anyway. Things like, 'free love' come with dependents and DVD-nights attached, 'free booze', crippling hangovers and seriously cringey memories, 'free food' a BFF moment with your toilet bowl.
Local muso Christopher Kelaart is belatedly joining the classic Janet Jackson/Luther Vandross ballad with his own set of swan songs; the farewell of ex-favourite belongings. For what? For nix. Nada. Nein clams. Zero bits of shrap. Total absence of tender. I could go on. But time is money. And you really need to visit his website, The Cleanout, STAT.
By simply answering a question (Kelaart says to "encourage more creative thinking and writing, instead of consultation of Google and Wikipedia" - does he have a spycam or what?) you go in the running to win something like: Hulk smash gloves! Super specs! A Freddy Kruger glove! A scabby magazine rack that was destined for his bathroom! Wow, can't believe that one's free. Anyway - it's a neat concept. We checked it out for you and it's no scam - he really just wants to get rid of his stuff, with only good karma coins in return (don't worry, the universe supplies those). Now, that's better than a kick to the gut. Even a free one.
What:
The Cleanout
Where:
In Christopher Kelaart's house, or here
When:
Until everyone else beats you to it
How much:
A little bit of imagination
The word ‘free' is like my catnip, my knee-buckling kryptonite, the ‘bacon sandwich' Achilles heel to my staunch ‘vegetarian' calf. Free cardboard box? Free kick to the gut? Yes please! Unfortunately, while upon terra firma, it rarely occurs. Not for real, anyway. Things like, 'free love' come with dependents and DVD-nights attached, 'free booze', crippling hangovers and seriously cringey memories, 'free food' a BFF moment with your toilet bowl.
Local muso Christopher Kelaart is belatedly joining the classic Janet Jackson/Luther Vandross ballad with his own set of swan songs; the farewell of ex-favourite belongings. For what? For nix. Nada. Nein clams. Zero bits of shrap. Total absence of tender. I could go on. But time is money. And you really need to visit his website, The Cleanout, STAT.
By simply answering a question (Kelaart says to "encourage more creative thinking and writing, instead of consultation of Google and Wikipedia" - does he have a spycam or what?) you go in the running to win something like: Hulk smash gloves! Super specs! A Freddy Kruger glove! A scabby magazine rack that was destined for his bathroom! Wow, can't believe that one's free. Anyway - it's a neat concept. We checked it out for you and it's no scam - he really just wants to get rid of his stuff, with only good karma coins in return (don't worry, the universe supplies those). Now, that's better than a kick to the gut. Even a free one.
What:
Yoga workshop with a yogi stronger than cobra venom!
Where:
Yoga Arts Academy, Lvl 3, 360 Collins St, Melbourne
When:
Sat Jul 31 - Sun Aug 1. Four sessions, 8-10am and 2-4pm each day.
How much:
$160/$140 or casual classes $20/$17
Contact:
9670 2997
I now view my life in two parts: before I met the yogi and after I met the yogi. Or perhaps before I heard of his legend and after I heard of his legend. ‘Yoga with a yogi stronger than cobra venom' pinged through to Three Thousand's inbox last week.
Now we all knew this was serious. I knew that cobra venom attacks the central nervous system. It induces paralysis. Progresses to cardiovascular collapse. Coma. Then death due to respiratory failure. What I didn't know and couldn't believe possible was that someone had enough balls to laugh in the face of the cobra. And so the legend of the yogi rose amongst our studio to a level of badassery previously reserved for the few who laugh in the face of danger. Mark Wahlberg being one of them.
Before I went to meet Swami Prahlad I read that a yogi is someone who knows that the entire cosmos is situated within his own body. Prahlad has the entire cosmos situated within his own body. At his most intense, this man trained for 16 and a half hours every day! He ain't no gym yoga instructor. Yoga is no fad to him. This is the real deal.
We'll start off with the story of the cobra attack.
I was not attacked by a cobra, I got my food spiked by a couple of guys from India. The hospital a few days later said I was poisoned with cobra venom (he says it is just a rumour, I take it as fact). It did paralyse me for eight hours. They robbed me while I was lying there on the street.
What was it like? The eight hours?
It was very profound. I had to concentrate a lot. A few times I thought okay, now what? This is it. I am going to die. And I hope I'm going to die because I am bored here. It was very strong...if I hadn't done all my yoga practice I think I would have gone a bit nuts.
I thought there was a breathing technique that you used?
I did. Inhaling through the nose (demonstrates) and exhaling through the mouth (demonstrates). I couldn't actually move. I thought a few times that if I just relaxed that I would stop breathing so I had to concentrate on breathing. I was only in a small town, I was on a side street by the time I collapsed around 9pm. Things started to come back at 5am and I managed to hobble back to the hotel...I had to then do a nine hour drive to the hospital in Dehli. They gave me anti-venom and morphine, which was pretty good.
Wow.
But then two days later everything was accelerated. I felt like my heart was going to burst. So then I had to slow my breathing down. It was very intense.
Wow!
And it happened to be as I slid down the wall, when I collapsed, lying in the filth of India I got antibiotic-resistant Golden Staph. Back in Australia I started getting really sick. I went to the Alfred Hospital and they kept me for seven days.
How long until you got back in to teaching?
Only last week. I spent three weeks at home with a pick line going in to my heart and then I thought well I have done the Western thing, now I'll do what I know. So I fasted for seven days. It cooked everything out of my body.
So now that you're back, can you tell us about the weekend workshop you are doing?
I do these workshops a couple of times a year. It is a basic workshop introduction to this style (Sakshin Ghatstha Yoga) of yoga. The thing that makes it good for the West is that it's graded. You can systematically progress through. The workshop is different from the classes because you can expand on things.
The key is to flush heat and energy through the system and that way you make everything healthy. It's about stimulating the nervous system. And it's about learning that each breath has its place for that hour and a half. That way it becomes what yoga should be - a meditation in action. A lot of people do things for the future, "Six months from now I'll be flexible!" It needs to be used more as an immediate thing. How do I feel today? A bit stressed. You do the yoga practice. That thing that was bothering you is ironed out.
(He pauses to drink his American berry drink, which he makes himself.)
My style is a strong, dynamic style. With all these styles of Hatha Yoga, some are more so dynamic and others are less so. Some people are more prone to being quick at movement and light on their hands and feet. Other people they're more quiet or, you know, withdrawn - they do the more internal style of practice and it sits with their constitution more. There are many ways to go about it. Depending on the individual we tailor the way that they practice it to fit exactly with them.
It sounds intense.
Once you understand the principles it is actually not that complicated...this is where people go wrong with lots of things, not just yoga. They think about things too much without doing it. If you just do things without thinking too much you do things and then think what was all the fuss about? Don't worry about things. Life keeps happening. Life is a path. You are never on it you are always following it.
Is it all about discipline? To be honest, discipline freaks me out.
Discipline is a very badly understood thing in this world. You are a young person and you are freaked out by the concept of discipline. People see it as a negative thing. Punishment. But discipline comes from the word 'disciple'. It's about being so into something that you're giving whole heartedly of yourself to this thing. It's about being total about something. Everybody has to find out what their discipline is basically. Somebody can run a marathon, another person can run 200 metres and say they are knackered. They will be labeled by a person watching as lazy. But that person who ran the marathon, that's his potential! Get him to dismantle a bomb and he has no potential there. Or whatever. Everybody has their potential. Comparing yourself to other people is rubbish. Neither is more or less than any of the others.
Thank you. This has been amazing.
What:
Finders Keepers Melbourne Market stallholder callout!
Where:
Apply online here
When:
Applications close Aug 27
How much:
Stalls from $440 for 2m x 2m
Description:
Forget Y2K, 2012 and the day of revelation - the time has finally come, The Finders Keepers Markets are finally coming to Melbourne this October and they're looking for stallholders. Are you or do you know a budding artist, designer or crafter? Someone who is nursing a callous because they're a chronic crochet-er? An entrepreneur waiting for a platform to sell their innovative goods? Apply here! For those of you out of the chain stitch loop so to speak, Finders Keepers is an independent design market with a smorgasbord of amazing stalls - think Sizzler with less soggy salads and more painstakingly designed jewellery, accessories, clothing and homewares. - LC
What:
MIFF - Strange Powers: Stephin Merritt and The Magnetic Fields
Where:
Greater Union, Russell st.
When:
Sat Aug 7, 7pm
Tickets:
Here
Watch the trailer:
Here
Win:
We have a dbl pass to the Sat Aug 7, 7pm screening to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'Lucy made me listen to Stephen'
Naming a documentary about The Magnetic Fields would be almost more of a task than filming it. From a prodigious band that's been pouring out gems since 1989, the list of perfect lyrics and titles to cherrypick from is daunting, each one glorious and cutting. Much like the band's songwriter and central nervous system, Stephin Merritt.
Known to fans as reclusive, and to journalists as irascible, he's a quiet riddle wrapped in a dry baritone. The idea of a small camera crew following him around on and off for years as he talks about gay bars, pickle sandwiches and his hippy mom feels like something of a small victory. All the moreso that the co-director is Gail O'Hara, editor of 90s indie pop bible Chickfactor.
As for the film's title, have you ever heard anything more romantic than "...there are more stars than there are prostitutes in Thailand... strange powers?" I thought not.
What:
Council Tree
Who:
Seagull
On:
Remote Control Records
Myspace:
www.myspace.com/seagullmusic
Do you love depressing music? I do!
Melbourne's Chris Bolton writes moody, sparse songs that intertwine folk, drone, minimalism and restrained indie rock. Perfect for listening to late at night, alone, it's an album that keeps you guessing and doesn't grow predictable; a treasure for fans of slow, beautiful bummer music, like labelmate Ned Collette, Thom Yorke on Quaaludes, or a less pretty Bon Iver.
Council Tree is the second album from Seagull, basically the band wrapped around Bolton's songwriting. Chris is classically trained, and it shows on these meticulously crafted songs. The barren beginning is countered by a rhythm and repetition that grows steadily. Maybe it's sequenced as deliberate storytelling (the bad news first, then an uplifting 'happy' ending) or diffidently challenging (making listeners wade through the murky, dour first half, for the more joyous end pay-off). Either way, it's a ride well worth taking. Repeatedly.
What:
Dylan Martorell: Musique Povera exhibition opening and performance!
When:
First performance Sun Aug 1 (then every Sunday in Aug)
Where:
Heide III : Project Gallery, Heide Museum of Modern Art, 7 Templestowe Rd, Bulleen
How much:
Heide admission $8/$12
Description:
The title of Dylan Martorell's newest exhibition plays on recurring tropes in his work. His hand-made, instruments improvised from available material combine both his accomplished musicianship and the radical, unstructured Arte Povera movement of 1960s Italy. Dylan will be performing in conjunction with the exhibition. At first solo, integrating instruments, scores and field recordings. Later performances will be collaborative. If you are already familiar with his work you are probably already going, if not maybe it's time you popped your cherry. - KD
What:
ThreeThousand and MIFF present the Blank City afterparty!
Where:
The Forum, 154 Flinders St, Melbourne
When:
Sat Jul 31, doors 9pm. Costume parade just after midnight.
How much:
$15 on the door / $10 with Blank City July 31 ticket stub or in costume
Description:
We are having a party after the screening of Celine Dahnier's documentary Blank City, which chronicles the New York underground scene from 1977 to 1987! Featuring TTT, Night Terrors, Rat Vs Possum and Pets With Pets live, with DJs Hugh Owens and BROmance. Come dressed up! Win prizes! Though, ironically contrary to the spirit of the time, we are fascistically restricting your choice of costume to either Lydia Lunch, John Waters, Debbie Harry, Jim Jarmusch or Jean-Michel Basquiat. Suck it up and dress it up, dinks. - KD
